Posted 2 hours ago

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

Posted 6 hours ago

jtotheizzoe:

The environmental impact of oysters, in one photo

The water in both tanks came from the same source. The one on the right has bivalves. Not only do oysters naturally filter the waters in which they live, they can even protect humans from destructive hurricanes. For more, read about New York’s efforts to bring back oyster populations in the once-toxic Hudson River.

Delicious AND helpful. Who knew?

(photo via Steve Vilnit on Twitter)

Posted 14 hours ago

jtotheizzoe:

How Wolves Change Rivers

Check out this brilliant short film from Sustainable Human about the effects of reintroducing wolves to Yellowstone National Park, where they had been absent since the last one was killed in 1926 until their reintroduction in 1995. 

While recent research suggests that the real story isn’t quite as neat and tidy as the one presented in the film (trophic cascades and food webs are incredibly complex! Who knew?!), it’s a great reminder of how every thread of an ecosystem plays an important part in weaving nature’s tapestry.

Posted 18 hours ago

yellowfur:

my heart

OHGODOHGODOHGOD

Posted 22 hours ago

lucyintheskywithstarofdavids:

best-of-memes:

Not even lion

This is the best post I have seen all day

Posted 1 day ago
abchannahxyz:

tastefullyoffensive:

After stewing in his emotions, emo veg comes to the conclusion that the root of the world’s problems is that people don’t seem to carrot all.[obvincognito/tabizine]

This is single handedly the best fucking pun joke I’ve ever seen on this damn website.

abchannahxyz:

tastefullyoffensive:

After stewing in his emotions, emo veg comes to the conclusion that the root of the world’s problems is that people don’t seem to carrot all.

[obvincognito/tabizine]

This is single handedly the best fucking pun joke I’ve ever seen on this damn website.

Posted 1 day ago
minazarei:


asperatus cloud x

IT’S LIKE WATCHING THE WAVES ABOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN

minazarei:

asperatus cloud x

IT’S LIKE WATCHING THE WAVES ABOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN

(Source: dilfgod)

Posted 1 day ago

demonhunting:

crabbyseer:

queenofheartsonthesleeve:

So today this guy accidentally hit me with the door when he was walking out of a classroom and instead of saying sorry he just looked me over and said ‘pretty cute’ and walked away . And then I realized . I literally just got hit on . The pun is greater than the pain .

I guess you could say that he adores you

get the fuck out

Posted 1 day ago

kars:

what a story

Posted 1 day ago

chapmangamo:

TRANSLATED TV SHOWS: Part One

Come back next week for part two!

P.S. My book is for sale! 

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